Shae Ling spends most of her time in the sidelines, and up until now she had been happy that way. She had her best friend, Matt Lieberman, who stayed on the sidelines with her.
But things, she realized, changed. Slowly Matt wanted to be more and more in the spotlight, leaving Shae to hide away by herself. It started with Matt convincing Shae to audition for the spring musical, which he got a part in and she didn’t. Which meant spending evenings by herself when Matt was in practice. And the more time Matt spent with the theater geeks, the more he started acting out a little. Joining in discussions that he and Shae would have just listened to before.
And then after one of the plays he dragged Shae to an after party with the rest of the cast and friends. She had been to parties before, she and Matt used to sit and people watch together. But this time there was no people watching with Matt, instead she was watching Matt move around the room and talk with his new friends. That’s when Shae realised that Matt wasn’t the same person anymore.
He was outgoing, loud, and funny. He was always funny but now everyone else thought so too. Every group he talked to would burst out laughing at something he said, and Shae could see on his face how happy it made him.
Shae could hardly recognise him.
After that they grew apart slowly, and during the summer Matt went to drama camp and Shae stayed at home hanging out with her family, who were happy to have her for a summer finally. There were beach days, day trips to the zoo, or to the city where they would eat out and do some shopping or go to a museum.
And then Matt came home and stopped by her house asking if she wanted to go get something to eat. Her parent smiled at her encouraging, probably happy to see that she did still have friends. She could tell they were starting to get worried about her being home everyday all day.
She said sure and followed Matt out and they walked in silence to the deli. Finally Matt broke the silence as they sat down and ordered their sandwiches.
“I missed you,” he said.
“Same,” Shae said, and she had. The summer felt like it had lasted for year without Matt to hang out with.
Matt smiled, “camp was amazing, I think I found my people.”
Shae looked away from him, “his people”? She thought she was “his people”.
“Look, I know we’ve been growing apart,” Matt said finally, “But I don’t want to lose you as a friend, I’ve known you my whole life. I can’t even imagine not knowing you.”
Shae nodded.
“But I made new friends this summer,” Matt said. “and I don’t think you fit in with us.”
Shae didn’t say anything. This had been made obvious already after the after party last spring.
“What I’m trying to say is that...” Matt said slowly, “I think you’re an amazing friend but we’re probably gonna grow apart.”
“Oh,” Shae said, feeling her face heat up. Hadn’t they already grown apart?
Matt smiled sadly, “we’re still friends but we just don’t mesh anymore. You’re always on the outside, and I want to be on the inside.”
Shae nodded, not looking at him. She wondered why he felt the need to tell her this, to rub it in that he was moving on and leaving her behind. She had already decided that she wouldn’t hold him down. She didn’t need to be told this. She already knew they would and had grown apart.
Then the waitress gave them their food and they ate while Matt told her all about his summer. Shae tried to listen but she felt so embarrassed and kept looking around wondering if anyone knew what was going on here. Giving her sympathetic glances, like “aw I’m so sorry you best friend just totally dumped you”. But no one was ever watching them. They didn’t know.
“I felt like I belonged,” Matt said finished a wistful look on his face.
Shae nodded, silently wishing that he hadn’t. Then maybe they wouldn’t be here right then, with him pretending everything was alright even though he just told her that they didn’t mesh. That he was leaving her.
“So what did you do?” Matt asked.
“Hang out with my family,” Shae shrugged.
Matt smiled and said that sounded fun, but he didn’t mean it. Shae could tell. They finished their food and Matt asked if she wanted to come over to his house and play some video games.
“One last afternoon together before we start at A.L. High,” Matt said. What he meant was “one last afternoon together before we split ways and I go and hang out with my ‘people’”
“I’m sorry,” Shae said, “I have plans with my family.”
“Oh, okay,” Matt said. Maybe he could tell she was lying, but she didn’t care. She didn’t want to play video games with someone who basically told her that they couldn’t be friends anymore.
After an awkward goodbye they split up. That afternoon while laying in her bed listening to music she decided that this year she would try more. Show Matt that maybe they could mesh.
Or maybe they couldn’t.
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