A little on DaeRi
DaeRi was smart, but she didn’t try hard. She cared so much about popularity that she was afraid of looking like a nerd. AeGuk knew she was smart, but she never studied and he was pretty sure she made her grades look bad on purpose. Which was really terrible in the long run.
Sometimes he tried to tell her that. But she always says the same thing “only a nerd like you would care about that kind of stuff.”
AeGuk and Collin
AeGuk had thought that after getting back together with Fedora that school would feel a little different. But it didn’t. It was still very lonely. That’s what he gets for only making friends with Seniors last year.
Collin tried to be friends with him, but Collin was so different from AeGuk’s old friends. Collin was quiet and thoughtful. The kind of person you would think that AeGuk would like to hang out with, but when you put two quiet people together you just get silence.
Sometimes Collin did talk though. Like the first day back after Thanksgiving break. They were sitting at lunch and AeGuk was just eating his food silently. He was still in a daze after the great weekend with Fedora.
“So how was your weekend?” Collin asked.
“Oh, g-good I g-g-guess” AeGuk said,
“Yeah?” Collin asked, obviously wanting to hear more. He should have known by now that AeGuk did not like to talk. So he didn’t say anything.
Collin stared at him for awhile, but AeGuk just went back to eating silently. AeGuk couldn’t see his face, but he imagined he looked confused. But that’s the thing about Collin, he didn’t know AeGuk. He expected him to talk more, he always asked questions and waited for answers. And it was always awkward.
Finally, because it was getting too awkward, AeGuk asked him how his weekend went.
“Good,” Collin said, “I spent a lot of time with Bentley. And decorating our house for Christmas. It’s really festive now.”
“Yeah, I I sssaw.” AeGuk said. He had been over to their house a couple of time during the weekend.
“Yeah?” Collin said, another empty question inviting AeGuk to explain more. ANother question that AeGuk was just gonna ignore. Collin had saw him everytime he came over, so there really wasn’t much more to say. AeGuk imagined that one day Collin was going to have to get tired of trying to be AeGuk’s friend and just leave.
That was a day AeGuk both anticipated and feared. Because he would be alone again, and while hanging out with Collin was awkward it was better than being alone.
“Are you okay?” Collin asked finally. This question popped up everyday at lunch.
“Uhm, y-yeah,” AeGuk said.
Collin furrowed his brow, his confused look. “You don’t talk much.”
Well duh.
“S-s-sorry.” AeGuk said, not really.
“Am I annoying you?” Collin asked.
Yes.
“No,” AeGuk said.
But Collin was good at reading people, and he knew AeGuk was lying. Collin looked upset. AeGuk immediately felt bad about thinking all those negative thoughts about him.
“I-i’m s-s-ssorry,” AeGuk said, really meaning it this time, You could tell by how much he stuttered.
Collin glanced over to the Popular table where Harriette and her friends were huddled together whispering.
“You you c-c-can go...” Pause. Aeguk hated pausing, but like stuttering it was something he couldn’t help. His brain would just go blank for a second. This time he decided to just not finish the sentence, it sounded just fine like that.
“Oh, no,” Collin said, “They’re probably whispering about something secret.”
AeGuk was silent. He was tired of talking, talking was frustrating.
“I’m sorry,” Collin said, picking up his tray.
AeGuk just stared, he wanted to ask where Collin was going but didn’t have the strength. Collin stood there for a second, waiting for AeGuk to say something probably. AeGuk felt bad so he attempted to talk.
“Oh. Kay.” AeGuk said.
“Are you okay?” Collin asked again.
AeGuk just nodded.
Collin looked worried but stood up to walk away anyway. “I’m sorry this didn’t work out.”
What didn’t work out? AeGuk wondered.
“Us being friends and all,” Collin answered, as if reading AeGuk’s mind.
AeGuk just nodded. Then Collin smiled at him, a sad sort of smile and then walked over to the popular table where Harriette greeted him with open arms. He said something, she looked concerned but Collin shrugged it off.
AeGuk felt bad. He practically pushed him away, but Collin wasn’t really meant to be his friend anyway. AeGuk considered sitting with the rest of the “nerds” but he hasn’t really talked to any of them since becoming friends with Fedora.
Remembering last year felt like watching a movie, or remembering a book or some dream. It didn't feel quite real, last year had been perfect.
But now it was back to being boring AeGuk.
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